Updated: 7 days ago
It took a lot for me to get to where I am now. I just finished taking a long hot shower reflecting on the places I have been and the things that I have seen. The only word I can use to sum everything up is transparency.
Transparency: an image, text, or positive transparent photograph printed on transparent plastic or glass, able to be viewed using a projector
Things played back in my mind as if I was watching a movie. I saw myself on each path searching for the meaning of myself.. why am I here? why do I have such a strong urge to know all of me? So much so that I sacrificed living a regular life. I have studied just about every religion that you can name in the United States...from Christianity to the Bahai Faith and literally everything in between. It is not until I stopped and went inside myself to find wholeness.
When people say go within; it's like what does that even mean? It seems so cliche. However it's as simple as just literally acknowledging yourself...your true self without any of the masks that we are forced to wear. A moment with self is a very long time - we just have to make those moments happen.
I wrote to Source and asked for clarity and I was told " you will innerstand later and you will be happy; just move on".
Then April 2020 happened. I gained a better innerstanding of what it means to be aligned. Once I returned to California I made a connection with my Ancestors that I had not previously recognized. I found out about my heritage in a way that transformed me over night. As I was researching my tribe I found a channel on Youtube named Odwirafo - I clicked on a video and he talked about the traditions of my bloodline; every word he spoke I could relate; not because he had experienced it but because I had experienced it. The rituals that I was unknowingly participating in; he described them and the reasons why.
I never considered who I was connected to. I knew my bloodline started somewhere but I didn't gno how powerful my family was or the fact that they protect me constantly. In the past, I would pray to Jesus and I would receive something that seemed like what I was praying for but it was never exactly what I was praying for. I would receive a distorted version of it. When I honor my Ancestors and speak freely with them; they act fast. Faster than I ever experienced before. For example; my oldest daughter has sickle cell (well had because that will be removed from her soon) anemia and she was having a pain crisis. She went to VCU ER in Richmond Va and the nurses in the ER were being rude to her. She was crying because she was in so much pain and they just closed the door on her as if she didn't matter. When she called me and told me I was pissed. I called to the hospital and when I got transferred, her nurse just happened to answer the phone. I wasn't rude; I just asked her what the plan was and if they could make her comfortable. The nurse was rude to me; cutting me off as I spoke and literally displaying no empathy at all. When we concluded the call she didn't even say bye she just hung up on me. Then I thought about my new position on my tree... My Ancestors can fix this and they can fix it quickly. I wrote a prayer to them; I then sent it to my other children and my sisters and asked them to repeat it.
Before I could pick up the phone to check on my daughter she sent me a text saying they just gave her some pain medication and they are being extremely nice to her. I sent her the prayer that I said and I told her that the ancestors were with her and if she asks them to show her a sign of their presence they would. I told her to look out for strawberries. She immediately responded and said her friend brought her in some strawberry cookies.
I was aligned and I could feel it.
Since removing the distortions, my dreams became more vivid than before; the presence of my Ancestors was stronger than ever; even now they are right here with me as I type this. I can speak to them and they will speak back immediately - they have literally been guiding me back to self this entire time.
When I stepped out of the shower today, my mind went back to that moment when Source told me that I would innerstand later... when I was out of alignment; things seemed so familiar because it was the "next best thing" but not the real thing. When you are out of alignment you will get all types of experiences that look like the real thing but it's just a distortion.
The phrase "being in the right place at the right time" means so much to me. The things I once knew mean so much more to me. I remember in late 2018 Source told me "to just get closer and the doors would open". You know what I thought that meant? I thought it meant that if I moved closer to "God" or at that time I was thinking Yahweh; then all my heart's desires would be fulfilled. I would have the career that I wanted, make the money that I needed and move into a place that would serve all my needs. That was true to a point- however; that was just a "distortion" of the real thing. The real thing was me getting closer to self; stepping into the real reason why I was Created; which created currency by default...once there; my Ancestors serve all my needs.
At this moment in now, the biggest revelation that I have had today was learning where the underworld is located at. When I would read books about it; it was always described as this type of science fiction type of place that probably doesn't really exist. My mind couldn't even process that image. Is there a world under us because that is what it implies. However, it's right here inside of me- located under my tongue- my inner being; my inner Kingdom. My tongue is connected to my central point of Creation. It makes sense to call it the underworld.
Even Hieroglyphics... my Ancestors told me they are to help me navigate in this upper world. Everything around me corresponds to a glyph; the shape of the faucet on my sink.... the cups that are in my cupboard, the birds that I hear chirping...all of it.
When the Ancient Ones wrote about their return they were speaking about coming out of the underworld- speaking threw the mouthpiece and fingers of their descendants. These descendants they call “the higher self” because of the location that we are in. We are located in a higher realm.
The bible has been a Source of confusion for so long- the rise of Christianity (and other systematic religions) was meant to replicate what my Ancestors had built; it was almost like eating someone else's food but when you try to make it...it just doesn't hit the same.
I can now see why so many female characters were vilified, I can innerstand why the bible says that you will pretty much burn in hell if you don't follow it. It instills fear for a reason...that's the American way; to scare people into submission. This is the same book that slave masters used to justify treating my Ancestors less than a dirty rag. What God would approve of putting one group of people into bondage just because of the color of their skin? Some people say the bible teaches peace and love however that wasn't the message less than 100 years ago.
I'm not big on "anything is clever", I am big on "keeping that same energy". These are the same bloodlines that justified the savage treatment of my tree. Now that the calendar reads 2020; it's unity and we are all the same. Where was that empathy when they spread diseases in Panama literally killing thousands just to gain power. Where was that empathy when they ordered dogs to attack children who were just trying to get an education? Where was that empathy when they blew up churches and homes of peaceful individuals? I am not going to lie ( I am trying to be transparent) it hurts like hell to see those pictures of pure hate in the faces of their oppressors. I shed tears just adding those pics to this post.
I innerstand that everything happens for a reason so I am sincerely trying to reconcile
the pain, the injustice, the beatings, the rape, etc....I just don't know how. I am having a hard time innerstanding why they had to go threw those experiences. Especially knowing the greatness that we all possess. As I write this I can hear my Ancestors saying "organized religion was created by man to serve twisted reasons... we were created by Source to serve it's purpose."
With that, I will release the pain, the heartache and the experiences that they once endured. I forgive every bloodline that attempted to keep my tree in bondage - after all in their mind they thought they were doing the right thing; and if they knew better they would do better. Now that the Ancient Ones have returned let's serve the purpose of our Source Creator.